What a journey it's been... As I look back on the last 4 years, it feels as if I climbed Mount Everest, twirled around in a tornado, and walked through the hottest deserts in the world. I ask myself how I did it on a shoe string budget, while renovating a house, working full time, going through a merger at work, receiving letters from women all over the world, and getting married in the process! This blog will take you behind the scenes of how I wrote "Dear Mom" and The Letters from the Heart Project. I'll be talking about what I'm up to now and inviting you to participate every step of the way. I look forward to your input and feedback. Just click the Comments link below!
When there is a will to create something good for the world, the floodgates do open. Maybe not exactly in the way we plan it, but in the way the river flows. The only criteria: To listen to your heart, to let go, and trust that you will be guided to your destination. No small task, yet this is what dreams are made of. Before I move on from this moment, lets toast to overcoming our challenges and listening to our dreams. Another toast, to the courageous women in the book.
Along with my husband, my big, old oak tree in front of my house comforted me throughout the process of writing this book. So did the women who wrote to me around the world. After selecting the 100 letters of the 1,000 I received, I typed every letter into the computer myself. I could have scanned them in, yet I wanted to feel every emotion these women were going through. I lived and felt their experiences on the deepest level. My eyes welled up often, days went by where every experience ran into the next one, and I fell asleep many of nights of exhaustion. So committed to the message of this book, I passionately worked through the challenges along the way. It took 2 solid months to type the letters in.
The most challenging part was to simplify the message, balance, and organize the book, yet have it be profound at the same time. I was clear that I did not want to do a "how to book" and that although I love to write, the book needed to have varied experiences of diverse women around the world. The brilliant authors such as Nancy Friday, Hope Edelman, Mary MarcDante, and Dr. Christine Northrup, MD have done a magnificent job at presenting the different facets of the mother-daughter bond. I wanted to add to their research through the art of daughters actually writing to their mothers, and expressing the process along the way.
My intention for all the women and men readers is to connect to your heart instantaneously, and learn through the experiences of others. Feeling our emotions is what is most important here, not telling you how to do it.
This book is not necessarily about how to have a great relationship with your mother. Granted, the result of writing a letter could lead you to this result. You may already have a good relationship with her. Lets face it. There are many out there that have chosen to distance themselves from their mother. Many mothers have passed away, and all we have is memories. We definitely know that the mother daughter bond, no matter what, brings out a mosaic of messages.
There are many messages I hopefully captured by creating this particular format for the book: The power of the daughter-mother connection and how it shapes our lives as women, the positive effects of resolution on ourselves and other relationships, the immense value in working through our challenges, and in essence, the intense need for the heart to heart connection that bonds us intricately together.
As I depicted the daughter mother relationship in Dear Mom, the relationship of Mother brought out most issues of humanity. Yes, many of the letters are provocative and I say, this is a good thing. Many of the life situations we deal with are not always so black or white or about right or wrong. Emotions can be messy, yet they teach us about integrity, compassion, strength, and love.
All the women have celebrated their mother in their unique voices, and have uplifted themselves. Most importantly, is the freedom we feel from liberating ourselves. So, lets celebrate it all, the generation of all our mothers, every emotion, and honoring ourselves. Lets live every experience to better ourselves as human beings. To let go is to live all over again. Elisabeth Kubler says it best, "There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from."
Enjoy reading Dear Mom, I've Always Wanted You to Know...Daughters Share Letters from the Heart. Open your heart, and enjoy. I look forward to our next conversation. Please feel free to post your comments.
Truly, Lisa R. Delman
Lisa,
You have always been an inspiration to me. It has been an honor sharing your journey over the past two years. You have poured your heart and soul into the creation of your book, Dear Mom and the development of The Letters of The Heart Project.
I know this is just the beginning. I encourage everyone to rush out and purchase Dear Mom, I’ve Always Wanted You to Know, Daughters Share Letters from the Heart.
It will change your life.
Sincerely,
Deborah Harper
President, Psychjourney
Posted by: Deborah Harper | April 09, 2005 at 12:17 AM
Dear Lisa, I am so excited for you! I loved our one to one meeting in New York City almost two years ago. I could tell that you are a special, magnetic, authentic, loving person and I have always felt proud to know you. Wow-Mazeltov on the book! I look forward to reading it. Now that it is published I hope you will have the time to join me on some ventures. As soon as you are able I would like you to be my guest on an Enchanted Self teleclass! Let me know. Also, I'm ready to interview you when you have time on my e-radio show which is now a monthly e-magazine. I could focus an issue around relationship issues with you as one of my guests. Anyway, I reach out to you!
I'm fine-working away at my Enchanted Self project and focusing on several new books-DELIGHT which is my spiritual adventures in mid-life, written to invite the reader along on mine and her adventures! Also, my mom, at 85, with my help, just publisehed her first book, FEEL GOOD STORIES. Both can be found on my site, www.enchantedself.com. Looking forward to hearing from you! All my best, Barbara
Posted by: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein | April 10, 2005 at 08:55 PM